Phil: hey guys! Dan: whaddup So we are going to Australia tonight (dan) oh my god! to start the Australian leg of our stage show The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire (awkwardly synchronised) that.
I didn't think we'd be saying that at the same time (phil) it was pretty synchronised I don't think that's a thing we should do So if YOU are an Aussie and want to come see us in real life and watch the show, go to.
Com (Phil) Yeah That's what you wanted me to say right? (Phil) Yes well there are still tickets available in the following places We should do these in an Australian accent (dan) Should we? (phil) YES! (dan) I don't think we should.
I think thats a terrible idea (phil) the accent of the people.
(dan) OH GOD (phil).
So we can get used to it we are gonna be in: (australian accents) Perth.
Adelaide Melbourne Syd- (cringing at accent attempt) Sydney (Laughter) (back to regular voices) Dan, what was that? and Brisbane.
(phil) Brisbane ok we're going to: Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane danandphiltour.
Com there's still tickets available.
(dan) Come see the show (Phil) come.
come see us As we are travelling to a wild and mysterious land (dan) totally (!) I thought we could find out whether we are going to survive this trip to Australia (Dan) like your anime video? (phil) yes (dan) i get it (phil) With: Will Dan And Phil Survive Australia? (imitates booming sound effect) (dan) I presume there was some kind of effect there? I don't know what thats going to be when you edit it (Phil) that was the.
the noise of a roaring.
kangaroo(?) So before we begin i got us some outfits to get us into the spirit of Australia (Dan) what do you mean? (phil) uh haha are you ready for this? (dan) No.
Phil what have you got OH MY GOD I got myself a shark fin cause.
austra- phil please sort your fin out there we go ok (phil) it's nice and erect (dan) thats just great.
its not even fitting on the camera strong fin phil (imitates Jaws theme) And what headband do I have? (Phil) uh I have got you.
That's not a headband.
(phil) THIS! What is this? (phil) It's a kangaroo suit are you (bleep)ing kidding me? (phil) i think you would look good in it You got yourself a shark headband! and you expect me to wear a kanga- you've planned this whole thing haven't you? ok guys, Phil is taking this video seriously Come on Skip Really Phil? (phil) this is amazing OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS!? (phil) It's your Joey it's in a very suspicious place but it is your Joey (dan) Oh my god I actually have a pouch (phil) Look at your claws (dan) im not gon- Hey This is quite a premium suit i just need to look really hench and then im like a kangaroo (phil) kangaroos are so buff aren't they? (dan) they're muscly.
seriously (phil) they're very scary Do not f(bleep) with a kanga well i dont really know where to rate this in my fur suit experiences (Phil) well it's not over yet dan you need to put the head on (dan) Nooo this is really tight (phil) Whoa look at that you're never gonna get out of this (ba ba bombom) my ears hurt its like you killed a kangaroo and are wearing its skin look at it! this is amazing! you should wear this all the time (dan) Can i just quit this video? so what type of shark are you then phil? Well obviously a Great White i mean look at my skin! Nice roast there (phil) whats your litt- (dan) Please! Do not.
I do not give you consent to stroke my Joey (phil) whats it called? Its called 'Little D' Little Dan! You cant call it 'Little D' So, now that we're ready, lets go So how is this working phil? well I got some sub-headings about things that could be a danger in australia we'll have a chat about them and then decide whether we would Survive or Die is that die? (phil) thats die die is bad guys.
thumbs down to death what is the first thing? Predators oh great here we go I found a Top 10 list of predators from Australia (dan) uh huh thought we could have a look through them and see if we could survive the things we are about to meet (australian accent) Australias Most Dangerous Animals First up is the Textile Cone the textile co-what is that? is that a shell? (phil) its a snail that is powerful enough to kill a human if you stand on it why are snails venomous? thats not a thing that evolution- (phil) why is that necessary? thats Australia in a nutshell its like England you have snails australia you have TEXTILE CONES!!!! next up is the Cassowary (dan) thats not a real animal (phil) thats a pokemon (dan) that is a straight up pokemon right there (phil) what am i looking at? apparently these are deadly birds that can kill a human how? they can kick you in the face what? they just murder you with their bodies? oh ok so they're just birds that can physically kill you so if you see the colour blue, just run away next one is Drop Bears (dan) wait a minute ph- (phil) WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?? Phil you know what Drop Bears are, right? (phil) what? they're like, they're marsupials they're like evil versions of koalas but bigger (phil) NO! I thought koalas were cuddly and nice? well yeah, theres normal koalas but then these are a completely other kind of animal (phil) it looks like a were-koala they jump on people from trees (phil) What The Hell!? yeah well thats why they're called Drop Bears (phil) I had no idea these were a thing thats crazy (dan) hey phil (phil) what? Its a joke there's no such thing as evil koalas NO ITS A HOAX! (phil) why is it in the list? ITS LIKE THE bloody Yeti or something (phil) Ooohh You really thought there were evil koalas that jump- phil.
(phil) im so glad thats not real (dan) you're so precious next up we have the Blue Ringed Octopus thats so beautiful! (dan) thats actually really pretty (phil) yeah i can't believe that would kill you (dan) aww I want to buy a suit just made out of those Phil.
thats like '101 dalmations 2: Octopus edition' Cruella de PHil Ooohhh dan won the video claw-five this is really intense Do i have a tail? (phil) you.
OH MYGOD LOOK AT THIS! (dan) Aw man life is amazing (phil) Next up we have me, the shark if you see a shark you should punch it in the nose bop it in the shnoz or poke it in the eyes and then swim away (dan) Really? (phil) yeah cause you know.
you really want to stick your arm near the mouth of the shark to deflect it (phil) just punch it (dan) yes (phil) just punch the shark that is not scientific information its just been passed down to me through the generations and finally we have the big daddy the Salt Water Crocodile (dan) there's crocodiles in australia(!) (phil) yeah, just wondering around the cities like So that is some of the wildlife we may encounter (dan) what environment doesn't try to kill you secretly? (phil) I dont know! (dan) i'm literally not going in the sea (phil) yeah (dan) I so- I dont care (phil) im worried so uh i think we're definitely gonna DIE on that one well there you go guys.
the video has started with a DIE on the predators Yeaah oh my god really? the sun? Yeah! Australia is one of the hottest places on earth Okay sorry i forgot who im with here yes phil that is a straight up DIE for AmazingPhil (phil) no wait, i mean i am going to go out and burst into flames but we are going in winter so it might not be that sunny (dan) how hot is it right now? (phil) okay.
SIRI (aus accent) how hot is it right now in sydney? it got it! that was clearly a good impression (SIRI) it's only 12 degrees in Sydney, Australia (SIRI) I don't find that particularly hot (dan) what would you know siri? where have you been behind my back? (phil) you're just a robot.
you dont have heat sensors (dan) ok phil dont be mean god that was just totally uncalled for How hot is it going to be in Sydney tomorrow? 25.
Nope phil you're still gonna roast Ugh So thats a strong DIE for me (dan) when it comes to the sun and I might just come back looking uh a bit too tanned like that time that that happened (phil) i miss that time lets NOT remember that (phil) ok Next up: the flight (dan) what do you mean the flight? no, you cant make people scared of flying (phil) Its actually- (dan) it is perfectly safe to fly (phil) dan.
it is 23 hours long.
Oh thats why – its 23?- i am gonna die.
What the Hell? (phil) our legs are too long for this (dan) Have planes not learnt how to go faster since- (phil) no England and Australia are literally completely opposite sides of the globe aren't they (phil) can we not just drill through the earth? Phil we're so tall (phil) i know and planes are so cramped Are you excited to hang out with me on a plane for 23 hours? we can play I Spy yeah? yeah? oh my god we're leaving tonight i haven't emotionally prepared myself for that.
what the hell For me I think the plane is a SURVIVE so im taking my pillow, i'll be fine And im gonna say the flight is a strong DIE for Dan hey look i can do a little fin dance sharks still got your label on.
100% polyester some fine materials there (dan) PolyLESTER boom what was that noise i just made? *diseased duck quacks* (dan) I could wear this on the flight theres like storage in this pouch look at this i can actually- i can hide a laptop in there (phil) do you think they'd let you on the flight wearing that? (dan) Could you imagine? (phil) i think they'll arrest you at the airport dan has a plan Next up.
Im sorry to everyone in the world on the internet watching this but it has to be done (phil) Spiders (dan) no- ugh So dan I'm not going to talk about the really venomous ones in the middle of the desert (dan) okay Im going to talk about the common house spiders we may encounter in Australia I found a picture so if you have a spider phobia, look away now.
here we go (dan) OH MY GOD!!!! (phil) Thats horrifying! (dan) IS THAT ON A TOILET ROLL?!!?! (phil) Yes (dan) THATS LIKE THAT BIG THEN (phil) Its- Its got a face Its actually got eyes and a face (dan) It Has like (bleep)ing visible mandibles.
What the (bleep) IS That? (phil) so we've got that to look forward to (dan) Are you (bleep)ing kidding me? I think thats a huntsman spider And thats common?? (phil) YES thats not like th-the spider that you never see? (phil) no.
i saw like 2 of those when i was in australia last time You can open your eyes now you have NO IDEA how horrifying that was okay I also have a fact: statistically you are always 1 foot away from a spider in Australia shut up (phil) So, spiders dan?? (dan) What do you think? Die now we have: getting lost in the bush excuse me? If we're playing Pokemon Go and just wander out into the middle we could be lost forever Dan and Phil were never seen again you know thats gonna happen So judging by my sense of direction and your need to play pokemon I dont think we're just gonna walk into the wilderness (phil) no (dan) in the middle of the night for no reason we've got a tour to do we're going to specific places (phil) True i think we'll manage to survive without getting lost And Finally (dan) okay last one sexually transmitted infections.
From koalas oohhh okay i had.
no idea were you were going with that one (phil) if you cuddle a koala there is a small risk it could wee on you and give you chlamydia (dan) Because all koalas naturally carry chlamydia (phil) yeah (dan) yep that is a weird as heck fact right there did that happen to one direction or is that a myth? there was a rumour that Liam got chlamydia from a koala Im going to risk cuddling a koala for the slight risk of chlamydia (dan) I might just climb inside a giant condom and do it (phil) nice! lets give it a thumbs up we'll survive koalas! YAY phil thumbs up not sideways so how'd you do dan? (dan) i said i would die 3/5 of those surely we only need to say die to one of those (to know that) this whole trip is a mistake (phil) i think so.
so are we going to survive this trip to Australia? (dan) Noooooo (phil) Probably not so i hope you've enjoyed dan and phil.
all these videos and stuff cause um (phil) this is the end (dan) this is it.
going to australia and we're definitely going to die so obviously we're just joking we know australia isn't that dangerous (dan) its a perfectly safe place- half of those things were actually safe So australian subscribers out there please leave a comment telling dan that he's very silly and not going to die out there PLEASE please explain everything in this video that was wrong so i dont freak out (dan) Phil can i take this off (phil) yep go on then (dan) oh my god this is so undignified (phil) its like you're being born or something WOW that is warm so if you're in australia and want to come see our show go to danandphiltour.
Com to get tickets (dan) i look forward to meeting them actually im expecting great things from these australian subscribers like WE SURVIVE ALL OF THESE DANGERS (phil) just an alligator around their neck and if we do survive you can subscribe by clicking on my face (dan) to see the videos that might be made (phil) yeah (dan) exactly or click on Dan's face to subscribe to him and we'll see you next time.
hopefully (phil) we had a bonza time mate (dan) Can i- thats so offensive we're not gonna be let into the country after these accents (phil) sorry (dan) okay.
sorry Little D I might pack this actually (phil) you should pack it I'm actually gonna pack this OK time to wack this off ok BYE (distorted voice) GOODBYE (imitates Jaws theme) (dan) I regret consenting to this video (phil) Jumpscare.